LOS ANGELES, CA — On Wednesday afternoon, 50 children of immigrants came together and filed a class action lawsuit against Old Navy for the trauma they’ve encouraged by way of their flip flop wall. Old Navy is known for being the #1 place for young divorcees to shop and most famously for their colorful array of flip flops that take up floor to ceiling spaces in their stores.
However, this shoe thong display has bigger implications. Flip flops, also known as chanclas, are often used by immigrant parents to inflict spankings. As the children get older, virtually no smacking is…
Ask your parents to go hang out with your friends
Go to a community event wearing ripped jeans
Explain vegetarianism to your family
Explain therapy to your family
Date outside of your culture
Come out to your parents
Move in with a partner before marriage
Explain the concept of privacy to your parents
Go without Costco for a year
Go without TJ Maxx for a year
Be monolingual but really good at the language
Bilingual and shitty at two languages
Hide a relationship
Be called “fat” by an auntie
The Royal Dansk cookie brand has spoken out and they “would very much like to be excluded from the sewing kit narrative”.
On Wednesday morning the company released an official statement via an Instagram caption:
“After many decades of staying silent on the issue, we would formally like to distance ourselves from all things sewing related. While we appreciate the clever zero waste approach many immigrant moms take by re-using our tins, we are getting to the point where people don’t even think we actually sell cookies.
Unsuspecting kids find our tins hoping for cookies to be inside, but SURPRISE…
Sacred rules were broken today.
Every 30 minutes I offer my grandchildren food because I simply MUST. I am called to — I feel the blood rush through me like a siren call, but instead of calling for lovers upon my shores, it’s for pastries and cabbage stews. It is my purpose in life to plump them up like Foster Farms turkeys and the more rotund they are, the harder it is for them to leave.
But, today, I received the shock of my life: one of my grandchildren refused the food I offered. How could this be? …
Arijana Ramic is a Seattle based standup comedian. You can find her musings on twitter (@arijanaramic) and short videos on the Aisha and Arijana FB page.