Back in 2019 Megan Thee Stallion coined the term “Hot Girl Summer” as a way to express turning up with your friends and living your best life, but it appears the phrase does not apply to people with strict immigrant parents.
When Group 1 (those with American parents) was studied in comparison to Group 2 (a group of 1st and 2nd generation kids), results confirmed that Hot Girl Summer is not possible in an immigrant home.
While Group 1 spends 75% of their days donning bikinis and shaking their asses on boats, Group 2 spends an astounding amount of time…
ATLANTA, GA — On Monday afternoon, Safiya and Emir were flipping through channels and discovered Fear Factor. At first, they were intrigued, but the show proved underwhelming for two people who escaped a literal war.
Emir shared, “So, I’m sitting on my couch watching Joe Rogan offer people money to retrieve a key from a snake pit and I’m so confused. I’m thinking, when is the coup gonna start and when do they have to escape their homeland without any of their belongings? Do the snipers come and kill their families after the credits?”
Safiya went on to say that wearing a hijab in the South is scarier than a worm coffin would ever be. The only remaining question they had was is that boring host the same Joe Rogan that bitcoin bros base their whole personality off of?
DEARBORN, MI — After only two days of fasting, Whatsapp Aunties everywhere are struggling to not talk sh*t in their group chats. It’s really hard not to especially since they saw Aliya at the Mosque and she didn’t pray or fast. Could it have been because she’s menstruating or because she’s pregnant?! They will never know because gossiping during Ramadan is not good optics.
The holy month is a chance to cleanse and reset the body and charge up for Eid, but there will be no holding back if Nura decides to invite everyone over for tea except for Yasmin…
LOS ANGELES, CA — On Wednesday afternoon, 50 children of immigrants came together and filed a class action lawsuit against Old Navy for the trauma they’ve encouraged by way of their flip flop wall. Old Navy is known for being the #1 place for young divorcees to shop and most famously for their colorful array of flip flops that take up floor to ceiling spaces in their stores.
However, this shoe thong display has bigger implications. Flip flops, also known as chanclas, are often used by immigrant parents to inflict spankings. As the children get older, virtually no smacking is…
Arijana Ramic is a Seattle based standup comedian. You can find her musings on twitter (@arijanaramic) and short videos on the Aisha and Arijana FB page.