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Day 10: Generational Trauma
How many generations until sadness fades?
Til our bones don’t know the pain of our ancestors?
How much time needs to pass until we are no longer defined by our trauma or fears?
I wonder who my parents would have been if they weren’t busy surviving, fighting to live.
Some of you got generational wealth where others got nightmares and PTSD. Imprints of the past there to taunt us in our weakest moments — holding us hostage under the duress of sadness.
Why do we bother learning history when it just repeats itself? Why does every generation of my family have to know war through first hand accounts? What a luxury it would be to live in ignorance.
I white knuckle the small shrapnel of solemn hope that still exists within me. If I say it, maybe I’ll believe it, that things won’t be repeated.
Never again. Never again. Never again.
Please. Please. Please.
Never again.
Song: Ptica bijela — Dino Merlin
My aunt sang me this song once while I was laying in her lap. It’s such a happy memory for me even though it’s a heart wrenching song. I miss my family so much and haven’t been able to see them because of distance and COVID. I hope I see them again.
