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Day 6: Checking in with myself

Arijana Ramic
4 min readJan 7, 2022

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On the drive down to LA. November 2020. The last big change.

I’m going to honest. I’m having a very difficult time writing today.

I’ve spent all day trying to finish a poem and I just can’t do it. I loved the idea of it in the morning and by the afternoon I am fussing over it in annoyance. I feel off today. It could be the dreary skies, my lack of energy, or just a general sense of being overwhelmed, but I just can’t do it today.

The winter months are usually hard on me. The gray Seattle skies get to me and so does the cabin fever. Lately, it’s been especially hard because I’m having my annual existential crisis. As a chronic over-thinker, the new year is a special kind of hell because it makes me spiral thinking about all the things I want to accomplish this year and all the things I have failed to achieve thus far.

I’m 27 and, as I’ve been told, entering the precarious period of my Saturn return, which should be marked with big changes and trials and tribulations — a sort of reset button for your life. And let me tell you, I am feeling it. I’ve never really felt like I’ve known my path in life, or I should say, I’ve always known my path in life would be uncertain, but I’ve never felt this lost.

I really don’t know what I want out of my life. Things I thought I wanted I don’t anymore and even the things I have strong pulls to achieve, have started to feel like they are just…

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Arijana Ramic
Arijana Ramic

Written by Arijana Ramic

Arijana Ramic is a Seattle based standup comedian. You can find her musings on twitter (@arijanaramic) and short videos on the Aisha and Arijana FB page.

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