Official Medical Diagnosis: The Glow-Up

Arijana Ramic
5 min readDec 15, 2018

Do you feel like people are treating you differently? Out of nowhere?

Maybe you haven’t noticed that your body is changing, almost like a second puberty. It could be that you are going through a glow-up and you don’t realize it.


  1. Sudden weight loss.
  2. Fixing your crooked teeth.
  3. Finally learning how to do your makeup or curl your hair deep into your 20s.
  4. Lighting and snapchat filters.
  5. Not having a pre-pubescent body.
  6. Your bangs grew out or your facial hair grew in.
  7. You own a trendy outfit that shows off your body.
  8. Adult acne dwindling or finally having a face wash routine.
  9. A general change in looks that is agreeable with the societally accepted standards of beauty.


1. The people that hit on you are hotter.

You’ll notice that people who shower and have basic hygiene will start asking you out. Don't worry, this is not a mean prank someone is pulling on you. Turns out people want to fuck you now!

Don't fall into the common trap formerly ugly people experience where they think "oh wow this really hot person was so nice to me" and then realize years later "ohhhhh they were flirting with me". Hot people are not nice for their health, they want to Super Smash Mario Brothers with you!

2. People start telling you what they really think of the old you.

A common symptom is people commenting on how great you look “NOW”! Of course, you're the last to find out you looked like a lumpy garbage can that was ravaged by raccoons. Of course people think you're STUNNING once they compare you to your old potato body. Don’t fret, this is part of the process.

3. Losing weight or people making unsolicited comments about your weight.

Doctors find that a surprising amount of glow-ups happen when someone accidentally shrinks their clothes in the wash. Suddenly, all of their once oversized clothes magically fit and call attention to their body-ody-ody. Be prepared for people to tell you how fit you're looking.

Arijana Ramic

Arijana Ramic is a Seattle based standup comedian. You can find her musings on twitter (@arijanaramic) and short videos on the Aisha and Arijana FB page.