Real Housewives of Bellevue Tag Lines

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Bellevue. The land of malls and waterfront homes. It’s also the land of some Housewives. We are overdue for a Real Housewives of Bellevue, so here are some tag lines I imagine the women of our drama filled suburb would have.

I’m from Bellevue and I don’t care who knows it.

Even when I’m messy, I don’t spill my wine.

I only vacation in Lake Chelan.

I’ll sue anyone!

I always rosé to the occasion.

Home is Clyde Hill but my second home is The Bravern.

There are only two things I can’t fake: an orgasm and a smile.

I got a Benz for fun.

I’m just like Amazon: fast, easy, and taking over!

I hate being waited on hand and foot, so I have people carry me instead.

Not only am I rich, my husband works for Microsoft.

You don’t have to be rich to give your two cents, but with all of my money, I have a down payment on being right.

I’m on the Bellevue diet: wine, gossip, and diamonds.

I’m not an author, but I have written myself into multiple wills.

If God loved you, you wouldn’t be poor.

Originally, I’m from Mercer Island, but now I’m a Bellevue Bitch.

I only break hearts and contracts.

Sure, I have trust fund babies, but that doesn’t mean I trust anyone.

Who am I without Nordstrom?