Bellevue. The land of malls and waterfront homes. It’s also the land of some Housewives. We are overdue for a Real Housewives of Bellevue, so here are some tag lines I imagine the women of our drama filled suburb would have.
I’m from Bellevue and I don’t care who knows it.
Even when I’m messy, I don’t spill my wine.
I only vacation in Lake Chelan.
I’ll sue anyone!
I always rosé to the occasion.
Home is Clyde Hill but my second home is The Bravern.
There are only two things I can’t fake: an orgasm and a smile.
I got a Benz for fun.
I’m just like Amazon: fast, easy, and taking over!
I hate being waited on hand and foot, so I have people carry me instead.
Not only am I rich, my husband works for Microsoft.
You don’t have to be rich to give your two cents, but with all of my money, I have a down payment on being right.
I’m on the Bellevue diet: wine, gossip, and diamonds.
I’m not an author, but I have written myself into multiple wills.
If God loved you, you wouldn’t be poor.
Originally, I’m from Mercer Island, but now I’m a Bellevue Bitch.
I only break hearts and contracts.
Sure, I have trust fund babies, but that doesn’t mean I trust anyone.
Who am I without Nordstrom?